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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518047">Admiration and Something more</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenchedvanilla/pseuds/frenchedvanilla'>frenchedvanilla</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Relationship struggle posts [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, SM Dungeon Era</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:32:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,454</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518047</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenchedvanilla/pseuds/frenchedvanilla</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sungchan's noticed Chenle far longer than Chenle's known of him. </p><p>A fic working off Differences, because,, Sungchan POV is nice</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Sungchan/Zhong Chen Le</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Relationship struggle posts [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Cut me loose, my parachute won't let me fly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Differences but now it's Sungchan because who knew that writing a fic will give you enough ideas to try to get out another!! Sungchan / Chenle tag to 20 fics by end of feb!! Nothing but brain rot here</p><p>This time... this time i just made up way more random shit bc i already used up everything in Differences and I just really wanted to get out a Sungchan POV while my brain could wring out sungchen juice (though this chapter is also like, very sungchan debut centric and not just ship stuff bc i have been giving this man my neurons for awhile)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jung Sungchan knows only one thing. He wants to debut, the only other thing that he'd say he'd kinda know is that that one Chinese trainee is perfect.</p><p>It's 2016. Jung Sungchan is 15, and right now he's staring over a sea of heads of others near his age as they congregate for yet another monthly trainee evaluation. </p><p>It's the same as usual, show off how much you've improved since the last time to the trainers, leave a good impression- walk out here a little more certain that you're going to end up in the debuting boy groups the company's currently working to churn out. Simple, easy, not as easy when Sungchan remembers that there are about a hundred or more of people with the same dream as him in this very building, all fighting to just stay on as a trainee, all fighting for the right to be picked out from the crowd and shaped into the next huge thing, maybe even the next month. Hey it's happened before.</p><p>That before is Zhong Chenle, and every trainee in this room knows who he is. Also 15, and just got here, he's exactly like Jung Sungchan- except he isn't. With two solo albums, various performances on television and abroad- not to mention a solo concert, Zhong Chenle is anything but like the regular trainee in this room. </p><p>He's going to make the debut lineup, and everyone doesn't have to say it, but they all know it. Well except for Chenle it seems, as he flashes a mega-watt smile at the trainer asking if he's going to be added to the SMRookie lineup in broken korean. While everyone is hungry for a debut, Zhong Chenle defies convention by seeming like he just wants to enjoy the process. Casual and collected, another reason why Sungchan can only think of him as perfect.</p><p>Sungchan on the other hand worries constantly about debut, nitpicking every detail that could stop him. Right now it's this, as the bright pop stylings of the supposed next debut plays over the speakers, he tries to chase away the fear that he won't be chosen. </p><p>For the reason why he thinks so? To put it obliquely through the example of another trainee, Wong Yukhei, just 17, looks like he's been grabbed straight out from a drama. Tall,  handsome, and dripping in the friendliest charisma Sungchan's ever seen down in this basement. But that's their problem, they're both going to be seen as too tall for this cutesy concept of teenage boys. But as Sungchan thinks this, he sees Chenle and another trainee walk up to Lucas and hi-fives him, speaking animatedly in what Sungchan can only assume is praise given how much happier Lucas seems to be looking as the trio walk out of the room, probably in search of an emptier training room to practice in. He's confident in his own success but lifts up those around him, Sungchan thinks. Zhong Chenle adds another perfect trait to his record.</p><p>Zhong Chenle didn't speak to him, but Sungchan selfishly nabs whatever encouragement Chenle might have told Yukhei in chinese as praise for himself, maybe the two of them, as tall as they are would be able to make it. But for now, Sungchan steels himself, his turn in front of the camera is next after all.</p><p> </p><p>Debuting is hard, Sungchan learns as Renjun and Chenle are announced as the two trainees amongst the rest to join the debuting lineup of already announced SMRookies. He tries to not be jealous, the two, small and angelic looking Chinese boys would obviously be a shoe-in for the concept, what was he thinking? Being tall was great, but, because of it, Sungchan realises. His fight to reach debut would take a little longer.</p><p>He spends the odd moment of free time he gets watching the debut, watching the saccharinely sweet "Chewing Gum" get performed for the first time on MCountdown. The choreography looks a little elevated from when Sungchan and the others had practiced it, now accompanied with seven slick hoverboards and a team choreography that radiates nothing but youth. He looks at Zhong Chenle, smiling brightly, looking almost fairy like as he keeps up with the ex-SMRookies never once seeming out of place. It has to be expected, he thinks to himself, recalling stumbling into Chenle lying on the floor with Renjun practicing the choreography looking at the mirror way after others had gone home. Zhong Chenle was not just already gifted but was a person who put in the work to never fall behind, truly an inspiration- truly, just amazing. </p><p>Sungchan locks his phone, sliding it into his pocket as he waits for his bus to bring him from school to the company building, he's just going to have to keep wording harder to debut, just like Chenle.</p><p> </p><p>Trainee life is usually lonely at times, people knowing that those you befriend are also in direct competition with you, or might not even be here the next week. But Sungchan finds companionship with the (mainly) chinese trainees and Jungwoo, practicing with them- or sticking to Jungwoo who's the only other person that knows Korean, at times using awkward english to communicate to each other or trying to exchange vocabulary to each other in an attempt to get to know each other better. Sungchan's sure though as the months go by, that they've picked up more korean than he has chinese. </p><p>Trainee life is hard. The seniors tell them that being a trainee is good retrospectively. He can understand that, the chance to not be in the public eye as you refine your skills to get nitpicked on less when you finally debut. But, Sungchan realises, they've already lived past the fear of not knowing whether or not they'd debut. This is what he thinks as he sees the usually solid Qian Kun with lines furrowed across his face, something he thought was just a slump that would last a few days... it's been a few weeks. </p><p>Sungchan wouldn't know where to begin in order to understand Kun's frustration, put onto SM's rookies show, allowed to perform in songs with the debuted lineup- to be placed back in the dungeon, with sporadic news of him to the fans or even his future as he continues giving his best in fears that they'll take back the debut they half-assedly gave him. Sungchan swallows as Kun slinks out of the practice room, thunder clouds practically trailing after him.</p><p>Sungchan can only avert his eyes, unsure how to help his hyung who's been nothing but kind to him. His eyes flicker to Lucas and Jungwoo in concern, as Lucas seems to reach into his phone for a moment, type something in, and put it back in. There's nothing they can do at the moment, but keep practicing.</p><p> </p><p>Kun comes back an hour later, in a much better mood than when he left as he easily slots himself back into practice, apologising to the rest and promising to order the others soda from the convenience store after their practice.  He looks so much better it kind of makes Sungchan wonder what he could've possibly done in an hour, as he turns to ask Yangyang the elder already seems to have an answer for him.</p><p>"If you're going to look any more curiouser- Kun's angel called him, that's who Lucas-ge was messaging earlier." </p><p>"Angel?," Sungchan sputters, face colouring red, their company didn't have dating bans for their idols... but even for trainees to have girlfriends- he was sure that wasn't allowed at all. Was Kun going to be alright if he got caught? Would he be able to debut? </p><p>His worry must have been obvious as Yangyang sighed, giving Sungchan the most unimpressed look. "I realise you wouldn't know this because you don't need to live in the dorms but Kun's angel is Chenle? You remember that kid?" Sungchan nods dumbly, everyone should know Chenle, why wouldn't he know of him? "Yeah," Yangyang continues "Chenle may have debuted a year ago but he still keeps tabs on all of us- especially Kun who he loves so dearly. That's the angel, don't go thinking of weird things kiddo" </p><p>Ah, Cheonsa- Chenle..., it does make sense, Sungchan thinks as he keeps nodding as he refocuses back on practice. Chenle's such an amazing person, turning people's moods from a low to a high, still caring about his friends even though he had already debuted. He's simply just a perfect person, so who else in this world would be more deserving of a title like angel? It was just that obvious.</p><p> </p><p>Sungchan thinks this time around, he might be in a better position to debut. There's talks amongst the trainers to hunt out prospective members for the 2018 project, and Sungchan's been hanging around the trainee group slated to be just that. Even if he's not yet revealed (he doesn't think about their company's laziness over never mentioning their girl trainees), he's always behind the cameras in insta lives cheering for the 2017's SMRookie boys, or sometimes a hand in a trainee video for an EXO social media trend the company wants them to do. </p><p>But Sungchan is still there, he's still part of the group, he might have a chance-</p><p>He gets passed over, his trainee group of seven friends being reduced down by nearly half, as Kun, Jungwoo and Lucas are all selected to join the 2018 Empathy project. He watches their debut from his phone screen in the training rooms, happy for his friends and fearing for his own success. Jung Sungchan is 17, and while he knows he's still young. There's a fear that he's just adding more reasons to never be chosen for debut.</p><p> </p><p>Not many months pass when the company decides to show off their 2018 SMRookie lineup. And Sungchan already knows looking from the lineup he's not going to be chosen to debut. In the lineup? The rest of his friend group, Hendery, Yangyang and Xiaojun all look like the skies have parted when the trainers tell them that they're slated to debut in the new chinese boy group SM's been trying to debut for the last 2 years. Sungchan is happy for them, but he starts isolating himself as much as he can, especially when he sees all his friends start to prepare for their debuts- all his friends are going to be busier. He knows they won't have as much time to see him anymore.</p><p>The next month, Sungchan drops out of high school, telling his parents he wants to spend more time focusing on getting his skills up so he can debut.  He knows only that he'll have to work harder.</p><p> </p><p>Sungchan is 18. 3 years from where he started and he's finally edged his way into being "in" the top group. He shoots a coquettish look at the fan photographing his group, it's good to be part of the top trainees allowed to go to their senior's shows after all. He knows that if he looks interesting he'll be able to build a fanbase for himself and maybe the company will want to debut him more, but for now, he's here to enjoy NCT dream's concert. He hasn't seen Zhong Chenle in a long time after all.</p><p> </p><p>It's surreal, seeing Chenle standing in front of him after the show, greeting all the trainees exuberantly, shaking everyone's hands a little too excitedly as he thanks them for coming to watch the show. </p><p>In the many years in-between knowing and seeing Zhong Chenle, this is the closest Sungchan's ever got to stand in front of him. Here Zhong Chenle stands, a veteran of 4 years with many achievements under his belt. Jung Sungchan stands, still a trainee- feeling the gap between them. He wonders if Chenle remembers him, even knows who he is, given that they have mutual friends.</p><p>Sungchan finally introduces himself to the dreamies as one of the trainees, and says that he's always looked up to him- Chenle smiles brightly and thanks him for his words, saying that he wishes for their eventual debut and that the trainees have been working hard. Sungchan's heart melts even if he knows that sentence isn't just for him. Zhong Chenle is an angel, he thinks. </p><p> </p><p>Sungchan <i>knows</i> that message was not aimed directly at him but he sure as hell feels like it's his lucky charm. Why? Because at aged 19, 4 years from where he started, on a summer's day, Jung Sungchan is told that he has been chosen to join the next NCT project. In fact? He's told he's part of the subsequent SM boy group.</p><p>Jung Sungchan has finally been allowed to debut. This time, he's the one telling his friends goodbye- hoping in his heart that in the months to come that some of his friends that he's made will debut with him too. Everyone in this room are all chasing the same dream after all, and after being left behind- Sungchan just wants as much of his friends to be able to debut too.</p><p>He opens up his group text that he hasn't messaged in awhile, messaging them to let them know. They have to be waiting for him.</p><p> </p><p>He's not the only one going to debut, Sungchan learns, as he stands in a bustling video shoot. The manager urges him towards the male standing in front of him, introducing him to Sungchan as "Osaki Shotaro", a talented dancer that has not only been part of well known dance groups, he's also danced in concerts for huge groups in Japan. Sungchan can't find it in himself to be jealous like he used to be because he's already here, and being in the shoot is proof that he's going to debut. He smiles and nods as the manager explains that Shotaro will also be joining the new boy group later on, and the two of them should get to know each other better- they're going to be dorming together after all.</p><p> </p><p>That day is also the day he gets to meet all his old friends again, practically dogpiling as they descend on him to ask him about how he feels. They asked him that on the message thread days before, but the feeling is fresh as Sungchan takes in the grandeur of this set. He's not going to be sitting in a room watching the video on his phone later, he'll be in his room watching a video of *himself*. He smiles and jokes with all of them, asking some if they've gotten shorter in the time they didn't see each other, asking others what he should do in front of the camera. He feels like he's home.</p><p>Sungchan's day couldn't be better. And yet it does, Kun yells over Chenle and Sungchan can't stop himself from falling when he sees him. An angel in blue, he looks like a a cherub as he bounds over to tease Kun over his height.</p><p>"This is Sungchan, and this is Chenle. Sungchan's one of the two new members that are joining NCT, and since you two are the same age you two should get to know each other right?"</p><p>Chenle seems to pause, giving Sungchan a once over before nodding. That action alone sends Sungchan reeling, did he spill something on himself? Sungchan doesn't think much as he shakes Chenle's hand, agreeing in front of Kun that they'll get to know each other better.</p><p>He pretends to not smile too wide when he sees Chenle standing by the set when he shoots sun and moon. Belatedly realising as the set gets packed up and he's ushered into a car of what exactly his admiration of Zhong Chenle had grown into. He had fallen, is falling? For Zhong Chenle. And he no longer has the excuse of fighting for a debut to those feelings away.</p><p>Jung Sungchan knows he's falling for Zhong Chenle. So he falls harder.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Free Falling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few weeks are a blur, moving from his home to the new boy group dorms with Shotaro, going to all the fancier recording studios that the company uses for their groups to record their songs in. Sungchan realises belatedly, he's now part of a group that would use these studios to record their songs in. He's going to debut. </p><p>He debuts, the video releasing a day before his very first showcase to loud fan reaction all about wanting to know about him and Shotaro more. Sungchan breathes a little easier, knowing for sure that with this, his debut isn't going to be yanked away from him at the last moment like he'd been worrying about. </p><p>However, Sungchan's new excuse of the day for not thinking about panicking over his Chenle admiration crush feelings is- focusing on how he needs to make a good impression to the fans and how he has to help Shotaro who's still getting used to korean. He pats himself on the back for the not completely stupid reason for ignoring his crush today and slips on his lucky hoodie, he's going to need all the luck on his side. </p><p>"I'm the same age as Chenle," Sungchan smiles the members start cooing about Chenle having a same aged friend, instantly whipping his head around to the far end of the stage where he sat to see his reaction, cringing instantly at how fast he had reacted to Chenle's name. He hopes that he comes off that he does want to get to know Chenle better but not like, in a desperate way, however that may come off. </p><p>That wasn't desperate in the way I want to get to know Chenle way at all, because he's not desperate about it. Because Sungchan is cool, he's not a random trainee or teenage boy, he's now part of a huge big boy group now and he knows people find him handsome so he can't be desperate. He's cool. He's very cool. He's a super cool dude. He makes it look as such, he works out, loves watching puppies. Haechan raises an eyebrow at him and Sungchan nods and opens his mouth-</p><p>Wait. Did he just fucking whine like a puppy in front of his crush? Wait. Did he just do that in front of a million viewers as a talent? Fuck. </p><p>Sungchan tries his best to keep it together as they move onto Shotaro, his brain following the script he practiced to perfection all of yesterday, trying show off as much as his charms as he can as the new member segment comes to an end, silently woe-ing himself. God he hopes Chenle still thinks he's cool.</p><p>He checks social media a week later to see how the fans reacted, if they noticed him at all amongst the 23 other members. Fortunately, fan opinion doing... that... seems great, with fans calling him cute and that he already feels like part of the group. Sungchan silently hopes that Chenle, and the rest of the group will think so too.</p><p> </p><p>In 2020, Sungchan's practicing for 90's love and slumping against the training room wall, for the first time ever is finally able to see a video of <i>himself<i>, online on his phone in the training room. Not his friends who debuted ahead of him, not Chene who he's been looking at for years, but himself, trying not to get misty eyed as he thinks about the poetic-ness of this event. He's the only new member here, Shotaro off at a music show to promote Make A Wish, so he opens a video of the From Home unit promotions instead. If he's caught he can just blame his tears on how emotional the song is. </i></i></p><p>
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    <i>He gets his chance to hang out with Chenle more as the filming for the group's reality show starts. In the very first filming session he had no chance to get to know the boy at all, only managing to sneak in glances at Chenle when he had come up to their floor to cheer on members like Jeno, Mar-k but this time it's different. This time, Sungchan's part of Chenle's team, Taeil adopting him for the day, asking him to stay by his side- even when. Sungchan swallows, casting a sideways glance at the boy seated next to him, Chenle obliviously chatting away to Jisung- Sungchan has so many opportunities  to be talking to him today, getting to know him better today. Sungchan absolutely cannot fuck this up today.</i>
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    <i>He's put in the work, turning over the games set out today over and over in his head, trying to come up with as many strategies or plans that might happen if nobody else had a plan. Being known as the tall leftie barking dog boy was good because he was at least being known, but Sungchan really wanted to show off his cooler half, thinking not of  being known as the tall boy to your crush. As evidenced by him posting you on his social media or speaking about you on lives, but hey, at least Sungchan's been noticed! He unhelpfully supplies to himself as the filming crew finishes filming the 'teleporting' cuts the members had to do. He absolutely cannot fuck up today.</i>
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    <i>He might fuck up today. Sungchan thinks, as he watches his entire team get downed before him with just two members. He tried explaining to them earlier how there's a strategy to arm wrestling but he thinks everyone just went with what they were used to the second they stepped onto the field, he can't fault them- you don't think too hard in a game over strengths. Sungchan looks over at Lucas, a cocksure grin as he looks practically assured in his victory. But Sungchan will just have to try. </i>
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    <i>Sungchan takes a breath, goes to the block. And takes him down easily. The field goes silent before erupting in yells as everyone tires to process what just happened- in just one minute without much fight at all. Resident buff boy of NCT and the second defense in OFN's strategy, Lucas Wong has been downed. </i>
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    <i>It's only one bout but he feels like he's on top of the world, like how David felt when he took down Goliath. His members surrounding him immediately to pat him on the back and give him hi-fives, this moment really could be the turnabout they needed.</i>
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    <i>They end up losing when Lucas gets another chance to wrestle again, Lucas more aware of how to combat what Sungchan is doing. They end up retiring back into the shade, and telling Sungchan he did well- suddenly he doesn't feel tired at all. He's really going to impress everyone today, he's going to make sure of that.</i>
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    <i>Sungchan gets an even luckier break in the form of the next event being a penalty shoot out, pout on his lips as he tries to calculate his next shoot. He missed his first one earlier but he has has just one more shot, he can't afford to mess this up again- he shoots, it scores. They've won the hundred points- two for two, Sungchan's the team's MVP today.</i>
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    <i>As he's about to sit down, he feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around expecting it to be another of the hyungs, but who he sees instead is infinitely better than whoever else it could've been. "We're really doing well Sungchan! You really know your stuff huh?" Chenle smiles, and Sungchan feels like the Sun dimmed just a little to let Chenle take center stage. </i>
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    <i>"It's all of the work we're putting together as a team, not just me" Sungchan replies, unable to control how wide he's grinning hoping internally his smile doesn't look too creepy, "You're doing great too Chenle-yah!" flashing a thumbs up back at him, knocking his knuckles against his. There isn't a good enough descriptor for how giddy with happiness he is right now.</i>
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    <i>Sungchan easily clears the rest of the day, and even if their team didn't end up winning, Sungchan doesn't feel like he's lost at all.</i>
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    <i>"Give a spoiler! A little spoiler," Renjun prompts "But remember that if you cross the line just a bit, you'll get a phone call."</i>
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    <i>Everyone's looking expectantly at him, saying they'd end the vlive. "Just a small one, something for the fans!" They continue, Sungchan's mind racing at what he could say. A 90's Love spoiler? No, that's too big that's a comeback- maybe about the Beyond Live? No, that's too big- uhm uhhh. Oh wait! Maybe this would be a good spoiler?</i>
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    <i>"I wonder if they know this? The special show at the end of NCT World-" It's barely been a moment since those words left his mouth but Renjun's head immediately snaps to look at Taeil, a sinking feeling already in Sungchan's stomach as everyone around him lets out ominous "Ohhhhs".</i>
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    <i>"Sungchan-ah, you crossed the line," Renjun says, placing his hand on Sungchan's shoulder, and it's not in the least bit comforting, "Goodbye!". Ohhhh boy, he's fucked.  The two seniors talk about how it'll actually be okay but Sungchan's already zoning out, swallowing every other second and eyes blinking. He has no idea if he's being teased or if he's not going to be okay- he's not going to be called right? </i>
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    <i>That exact worry follows him that night to dance practice, Sungchan confiding in Haechan about what had happened earlier that day.</i>
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    <i>"And so, I was like- hm I shouldn't be spoiling the song, but what about the live show? Maybe it would've been announced by now the reality show is nearly done airing- and hey!" Sungchan huffs as Haechan doubles up in laughter, motioning for Jeno and Mark who were sitting nearby to come over by slapping the floor and looking their way.</i>
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    <i>"So," Haechan gasps through his fit "you're worried that you're going to be in deep shit, because you spoiled a major thing?" Sungchan nods. "You'll be fine! Our 01 line are just our spoiler line~" Haechan coos, mock wiping away the tears from his face. "But if you're worried, you should message Chenle- that boy spoils without being prompted and he will spoil things that aren't even related to him. Songs, concerts , other unit's comebacks- And he's still here isn't he?" Sungchan turns to look at the other two and they nod tiredly at him. </i>
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    <i>"He's always running his mouth, that kid's insane, even spoiling our final track on a livestream and having the audacity to explain it to me too," Jeno sighs "he's unhinged. You'll be fine Sungchan-ah, but if you're worried you should go ask him if he's ever been punished if it'll help reassure you." </i>
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    <i>Well, he always wanted to have a reason to message Chenle, but he never thought his fuck up would be it. Silver lining he supposes.</i>
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    <i>Sungchan texts Chenle that night, gearing up to recount the whole story again before Chenle mentions how he already saw the vlive (embarrassing) and how Sungchan totally killed it as part of the spoiler line. Sungchan winces behind the screen, half glad Chenle tuned in to watch half cringing at Chenle watching him fuck up, asking if he'd be in any trouble. </i>
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    <i>"You? That'd never happen- I've been spoiling Resonance on my Radio show. You'll be fine, just you see Sungchan-ah nobody'll come to call you- I swear on it 😂"</i>
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    <i>It's not much, since Chenle's the type of person to ooze confidence- but part of that confidence rubs off on Sungchan. He hopes he won't be in any trouble for this.</i>
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    <i>Haechan comes up to Sungchan the evening after Chenle's gone for his own vlive with the hyungs, eyes glinting with mirth as he claps a hand to Sungchan's shoulder. </i>
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    <i>"Did you see Chenle today? He went all out in spoiling and Jaehyun and Winwin-hyung barely kept him in control- did he challenge you to a spoiling competition or something?" Sungchan shakes his head, and Haechan's scrunches up contemplatively. "Hm, then he must've started his own one-sided competition again, or maybe he wanted to protect you. Anyways I saw the managers losing their shit so don't worry about the special show anymore, the fans loved the spoiler and-" </i>
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    <i>Sungchan tunes the rest of the words out, mind racing at the idea of Chenle protecting him. There is the possibility that it was Chenle's competitive spirit, but the possibility of Chenle doing it to protect him drives him crazy.</i>
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    <i>Nonetheless, he sends a text to Chenle thanking him anyway. When Chenle sends him back a message of just a smiley face and a thumbs up- Sungchan tells himself that Chenle can't blame him for being a little delusional in thinking that Chenle did it for him.</i>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ahaha I actually wanted to put all three out at once but I ran out of points so I'm hoping the stress of posting the two chapters before it will make my brain think, you know- the same way your brain only starts to think when you finish posting a work you think is finished?</p><p>Anyway last chapter! Because I had no idea how writers do their really well written time breaks so I just put it in different chapters</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. So say that you'd catch me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sungchan's daydreams only continue to heighten from that day onward.  Years of what he thought was just pure admiration of Chenle morphing more and more into a snowballing crush the more he gets to spend time and gets to know him better. </p><p>He thinks about confessing to Chenle the more they spend time together. Just spilling about how he feels about the other, in silent back of the car conversations after award shows when they've won artist of the year; at first snow when he sees the snowflakes fall into recovering over-bleached hair; on Christmas Eve at the tea store when he buys congratulatory boba for the first holiday he's spending as an NCT member- He believes shouldn't be blamed at all for his thoughts, Zhong Chenle is just that addictive.</p><p> </p><p>Sungchan can't tell if he's being led to his downfall or if Chenle is just teasing him. He knows from Kun that Zhong Chenle teases without warning and sometimes without much thought to his words, close enough to his friends where they're comfortable with Chenle going crazy in his jokes. But currently, Sungchan can't tell if he's close to Chenle the way Kun is to have this be a joke, or if Chenle's playing a game of 5d chess with him.</p><p>The reason of this currently lies in a chunky bright yellow piece of plastic, wrapped as Chenle glances at the camera and back at him. </p><p>"I didn't make it, so don't like it too much." Chenle says, flashing an angelic (or is it devilish) grin at him. On one hand, it could be a test to see whether or not Sungchan would like this chain without biasedness towards Chenle- like a test of if he really liked the gift? But also. </p><p>Sungchan remembers Jisung messaging him to not worry if he sees Chenle and him argue over Vlive on the topic of picking each other vs Sungchan. Reassuring him that they're friends, no fight has happened- just fun banter over Sungchan, so could it be that? Sungchan's being tested on picking between Chenle or Jisung? To cap off the Chenji Sungchan saga? Sungchan considers all of this, opting instead to give a confused "Why?" in reply.</p><p>Chenle gives an even more confusing response in return, "Yeah, if you don't wear it, I'll tell the fans on my Weibo that you don't". What the fuck does this mean? Is this a joke? A hazing? If he answers that he will Chenle say he loves Jisung so much on camera? Or did Jisung make it? He regrets not watching the short vlive that the two did- maybe then he'd have an answer- maybe... </p><p>Maybe, he thinks looking at Chenle's smile, not at all calculative in the slightest that Sungchan thinks, maybe he's just been considered close enough to Chenle that he's being hazed like Kun. And it's really just as simple as that. </p><p>"I'll wear it" Sungchan replies in a fake hurt voice, "But you didn't make it though!" he adds on a beat later, knocking his fist against Chenle's shoulder. </p><p>"Yeah but Jisung did! You wouldn't want to let him down right? He's your junior" Chenle pouts, Sungchan really shouldn't have overthought this- Chenle really is just hazing him. </p><p>"That's right but... ahh, alright, I'll wear it." Sungchan sighs in mock defeat. </p><p> </p><p>Chenle doesn't seem to forget anything he's ever heard, or anything he's ever said. Even he if he says some of the most asinine bits as promises, he'll end up carrying them out- even if you don't think he would.   </p><p>One fine day at the salon Sungchan finds Chenle staring at him and he can't for the life of him tell why. </p><p>"Why are you glaring at me?" Sungchan texts, attaching an image of Chenle"You look scary lol" </p><p>Chenle not a moment later fishes his phone out from underneath the smock, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at his screen, fingers rapidly going across the screen as Sungchan's phone buzzes a second later.</p><p>"You're not wearing the mask necklace in spite of you wearing a mask right now 😡"</p><p>"I can only assume you're willing to have me tell the fans since you're doing this right in front of me? 🤔"</p><p>Sungchan looks up from his phone and Chenle's just full on glaring at him, shaking his head as he mock sighs, the hairdresser placing a hand on his shoulder to settle Chenle down. </p><p>Sungchan can't help but have his shoulders jerk up in laughter in return, his own stylist sighing and  telling him to not move. Sungchan flushed red, apologising embarrassedly for the inconvenience as the stylist nods turning back to her work. </p><p>Ah the chain, the one he said he promised he'd wear. Chenle really meant it when he said he'd be on the lookout for the chain? Sungchan smiles, heart warming at the fact that Chenle was looking at him even if it's not the because he's in love with him reason he's really thinking about. </p><p>"It's chained to my belt right now Chenle "</p><p>"Didn't want it to get stained by the perming solution, but if you want to see it so bad I'll even show it to you 😤."</p><p>Chenle ends up finishing his session at the salon before him, but he doesn't turn to leave. Coming over to the seat beside him, telling Sungchan he wasn't going to let Sungchan get away with lying to his face. Sungchan blames Chenle for letting him get carried away with his daydreams, after all it's Chenle who ended up staying an additional hour talking to him. </p><p>He thinks it's significant because Sungchan had flashed the plastic when Chenle had come over, he'd had to have had another reason to stay so long just to speak to him right? Maybe he should've confessed then, but maybe a head full of curling rods isn't the most romantic outfit to be starting a relationship in. </p><p>After that appointment Sungchan begins to catch Chenle staring at him more and more. Sungchan even once catching him eyeing him through the gaps in the recording studio, when he wasn't even wearing a mask. Sungchan fishes the chain out from his backpack, dangling it in front of Chenle smiling as the boy stalks off. He starts leaving parts of it out and pointing at it whenever he catches Chenle staring, smiling every time he watches Chenle stalk off in a huff whenever he points it out. </p><p>Zhong Chenle is just too cute, even when he's trying to look angry, Sungchan can't think about anything but picking him up in his arms and keeping him there.</p><p> </p><p>Sungchan wonders if he's getting even more obvious with his crush, but at times like this he can't even bring himself to care. </p><p>Jung Sungchan's just finished his first ever concert just a month from his debut, Jung Sungchan's got to show off every side of himself, from rapping to singing and everything he's spent so long perfecting- Jung Sungchan's staring right into Chenle's bright eyes as he asks him about his concert story. Wait, he had a story?</p><p>"What?" He smiles confusedly as Chenle nudges him, "You know, that one! You had one prepared. The fun one."</p><p>"Ahh, what was it?" Sungchan's standing there lost, looking from hyung to hyung as if hoping one of them will remind him. He should've remembered his part honestly, but the adrenaline, exhaustion and overall energy of staring into Chenle's adorable face takes a toll on a man's memory, so cut him some slack. </p><p>"The boss story?," supplies Haechan from the other end of the stage. Sungchan sighs internally, thanking Haechan who's on track to being his saviour, he should start giving the answer that he's his favourite hyung more often.</p><p>Sungchan takes a quick glance at Chenle to see if it's the story he wants, defaulting to a small speech about how he and the others were asked to cover Taeyong's parts for the concert and the four of them worked overtime to get things done. What's unexpected is what happens next-</p><p>"Right, Sungchan practiced it during his trainee years right? And now he's got the chance to cover it here-" </p><p>Sungchan's eyes widen, turning to look at the boy beside him- he's only mentioned that once to him in passing when he'd heard the other rap the verse in the car ride to a schedule that he'd done it for trainee evaluations. He didn't think Chenle'd actually remember that factoid about him but now that he has he can't help but to feel a little warmer. </p><p>"I'm a little disappointed though," Chenle continues, pausing to flash a teasing smile at him "-because Taeyong's rap part in Boss is supposed to be mine!" Chenle sighs dramatically, shaking his head as the rest of the hyungs laugh at the claim. In reality it's not how concerts work but, Sungchan wonders if Chenle had cornered him and asked to perform that part if he'd say yes- he probably would've.</p><p>"Then you give it a try!" Sungchan adds on, heartstrings tugging as he sees the usually confident Chenle get flustered and backtrack a little. The hyungs continue to egg him on, Yangyang already rapping the part as Chenle- doesn't join in, only dancing before Renjun cuts in- they have to move on, and more importantly, he's been trying to talk about Jeno for the last minute.</p><p>Well it should have cut off there, but Chenle tiptoes up to his ear to whisper to him that he'll just show him later when they're alone, Sungchan's heart can't stop racing, it's not what he actually wants it to be but he can dream just a little. </p><p>He doesn't end up getting that chance of being alone with Chenle to see that performance due to other schedules, but ends up getting it over an audio message at 11pm later that day. Sungchan replays it a couple of times before downloading it to his phone, thinking of it as a late Christmas present.</p><p> </p><p>It comes as an unexpected surprise to Sungchan when he sees a message from Chenle light up his phone, asking why he hasn't come over. He never thought Chenle would care as much to ask him why he hasn't shown up given that he's only been there once (and broke a wine glass, he chides himself silently) </p><p>The whole truth is, Sungchan barely kept it together the first time he went over, Chenle saying he'd like to show off his darling daughter to everyone and letting Sungchan step into his home. The more Sungchan thinks about ever stepping foot into Chenle's home his mind is combating the idea of just spilling out a confession the second whoever is accompanying him is alone- it's sick, given that Sungchan knows Chenle's only really known him for a few months. </p><p>"Well... ahh.. uhm..." He texts out first, hesitant on how honest he should be in his reply. It'd be a romance fail if he confessed over text, so he instead given a half truth about how he just didn't want to impose and invade Chenle's house as a partial stranger. That should be good enough he thinks, he'll leave telling Chenle about how he daydreams of kissing him whenever he thinks about visiting Chenle's house out for another day. </p><p>When Chenle's message comes in a little later about how Sungchan's always welcome to play with Daegal because she'd love to see him again, Sungchan holds his phone to his chest, even if it wasn't directly, this was Chenle saying he wants to see Sungchan come over right?</p><p> </p><p>He takes the invitation to see Daegal <strike>Chenle</strike> a few days later, but Sungchan never thought that one simple visit would have him dealing with such a loaded question.</p><p>"Hey Sungchan, do you think I'm cool?" </p><p>Sungchan looks over from where he's currently playing with Daegal, cocking his head at the question, was Chenle asking him another trick question? </p><p>"Yes? I've never though otherwise, but... what's this about? Did someone talk bad about you?" Sungchan can't help but wonder what's this about, maybe Chenle was just going through a rough patch after seeing tough netizen comments? He repositions himself against the couch, picking up Daegal and putting her in his lap as he turns to look at Chenle ready to give him his full attention, frowning as Chenle turns his head away. </p><p>"Oh you know, just some things I was thinking about when I first met you. I thought you were so tall, that I'd just look so non-cool and non-manly to you from all the way down here." </p><p>"Oh... Chenle..." Sungchan says softly, he's spent so long looking up to Chenle, looking at him all these years, that he's never once gave thought to the fact that Chenle would ever see himself as inadequate. </p><p>"I don't need to think about your height, when it comes to you I think about how you're just so confident and sure of yourself. I could think about how you're generous and kind to the hyungs. I could think about how even if you tease others when it comes down to it you'd be the first person there reassuring them and making sure they're okay. You've never been anything but cool and manly to me." The words "you're perfect to me" lie on the tip of his tongue, this isn't the time to confess- it's too cheesy and Chenle was being vulnerable with him.</p><p>"Oh then... would you like to go on a date with me? I'm free on the 14th after all." </p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>Maybe it's the fault of Sungchan for pushing away so many thoughts of how he was going to get out of merely pining over Chenle or getting to the point where a romantic situation to confess would make sense, that receiving a confession from Chenle was never in sight for him. He never thought Chenle'd do anything. After all, Chenle hasn't been flirting with him at all leading up to this. Or has he? Sungchan's mind recalling the texts from a few days ago where Chenle called him cute, but he calls everyone cute- was he being pranked on? But Chenle was never a mean person, what was this about?</p><p>"Like.. wait where is this all coming from? You still haven't answered that at all!" Sungchan literally has no clue what this situation could be- is he being pranked? How does Chenle asking a question if Sungchan thinks he's cool immediately go into a date without any segue, any padding, anything being said about how and what he likes about Sungchan- </p><p>"I like you, simple as that, and I thought for the longest time you'd think of me as less of a man and all that other shit that's unimportant but," Sungchan meets Chenle's gaze, catching a flicker of worry in his usually confident eyes. "you think I'm cool right- so do you want to go out on a date with me?"</p><p>He wants to say yes, in fact there is no other answer than yes. Sungchan wants to surge forward like if it were a romance movie and profess his mutual love for the boy sitting in front of him, hug him, drown him in affection. Do anything to make the moment like what Sungchan's been dreaming of;</p><p>Instead, Sungchan places his head in his hands, brain crashing as the metaphorical windows start-up noise plays in his mind. Zhong Chenle is literally too much is all his mind musters together as his face flushes red, the reality of the confession sinking into him.</p><p>Chenle just asked him out, just like that; Sungchan looks up through gapped fingers, looking up at the boy he's spent so much of his life falling for, maybe if it's Zhong Chenle he could take it as his perfect confession. Awkwardly confident, romantic and mundane, slowly falling in love with small moments culminating into a confession on a Tuesday afternoon when Sungchan's in a hoodie and sweats.  </p><p>He nods.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It's finally over! (Not, I'm actually making tiny edits here and there because my brain refuses to work on editing works until I read them after I publish them and I actually have no friends to ask to beta read) Also just realised I put pretty much all of chapter 2 in here too bc I don't think before I post</p><p>Thank you for staying by this fic and also thank you to Jung Sungchan for uhhh debuting and just being an amazing person I do this for you everyone please stan him and give him love!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really was going to make this as a one shot but idk how it grew to three chapters i just pace shit real bad im so sorry folks </p><p>Also the ending of differences where Chenle says it begins like this is when he notices Sungchan for the first time properly and not as another trainee face, i didnt think too hard and i wrote myself into a wall really shows that i do not think but make plot heehoo anyawys, I hope you enjoyed it!</p><p>Edit: also amazing how I finished the fic the day Sungchan's magazine came out and he also says he focused on being a trainee, like that's some validation thanks Sungchan (please support him and buy his first ever solo magazine pictorial!)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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